Fark is working on its annual headline of the year contest

People that submit links on Fark.com often submit them with funny little headlines. They're in the process of picking out the best here, here, and here, and here [portions probably NSFW in there somewhere].
But let me save you some time and highlight some of my favorites:
Man finds ten human teeth in wallet at Walmart. That's just decadent
80-ton wave generator works briefly as advertised when it falls into the ocean
Toddler falls into baptismal font. To answer the obvious question: Yes, he was saved
Police find severed head, will later reveal whether it's "linked to body parts found in Hertfordshire." Submitter suspects the answer may be "Not any more"